all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Who died my cat blue again?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
