I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
