so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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