listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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