So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
