just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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