Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
They are going to name an STD after you.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
