Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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