Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
