the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
