This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
