coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
