I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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