At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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