The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
