do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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