My nipple is on Facebook.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
