would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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