the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
