My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
