dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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