look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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