we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
