If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
