The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
tonight lets celebrate not being married
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
