shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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