Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
