Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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