Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
