You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
