He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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