I will die if light touches me.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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