So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
