im so drunk with asians
where?
always
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
When are your genitals available?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
