Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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