No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
