that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
