so that wasnt chicken after all
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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