3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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