either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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