I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
