im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
