This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
