I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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