If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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