people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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