I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
