It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
