yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
