She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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