I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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