i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Damn victory sex feels great
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
